So today really just sucked big time.
As soon as I woke up, I felt this sinking sensation in my stomache, because I knew what day it was, and this big lump just welled up in my throat and i had to bite it back, because I didn't want to make it any harder on my mom than I already knew it was gonna be today.
Then once I got to school, I was still biting back that big lump, and then I saw Heather, and she gave me a big hug, and I seriously thought I was gonna lose it right there.. But I swallowed it again, and gave a big smile.
That's how it went most of the day..
That stupid fake smile.
Keeping myself composed, but always being on the edge.
Then finally, in 4th hour I couldn't keep it in anymore, and I ran to the bathroom, and just cryed, and cryed, and cryed.
Everthing just came out.
From every little thing that had been bothering me, up to today's fact.
And to make things worse..
On days like these, it makes me realize I don't really have anyone to run to and be like, "Ohh, guess what happened?!"
And then start crying in their arms, and know that everything will be okay, because I have this person near me.
I miss Jude.
I miss Cody.
I miss Kalen.
I miss Taylr.
I miss the only people that were really always there.
Why did I have to move so damn far away from them?
And I know that everyone around me, I will probably never see again after high school..
Unless it's at some sort of reunion, or something along those lines.
I want friends that I know will be there my whole life.
I want them close, so that they can be the ones that catch me when I fall.
I want Oregon.
And I want it now.
It can't come soon enough for me, and that's the only thing that keeps me going sometimes.
Damnn.
About Me
- Elizabeth!
- I honestly have no idea how to explain myself here. I only know how explain myself in my daily writings and actions.
2 comments:
My shoulder is always here for you Liz, and my ears are always open.
Oh sweet Elizabeth! this made me so sad to read. I wish that you knew how fast this time in your life will be gone. I used to always hear this from older folks when i was your age, but it is so true. Every day is a gift from God. We have to learn to enjoy every breath that we are given. Every moment that we have on this planet is a gift. You are where you are for a reason and if you fight it, you will be miserable. It is hard to understand this now, but living in the moment will bring you the greatest joy and happiness. There are so many people's lives that you can touch, and I am sure that you have already touched many in show low. Everyone that I talk to that has met you loves you! You are a fun, bright, smart, loving person. Anyone that knows you is lucky! Your dad would want you to listen to my advice, since I am his favorite step daughter. lol! JK your dad is rooting for you and he wants your greatest happiness. This life is but a moment and how we live each day is what is going to count in the end. I wish that I was there to put my arms around you sweet sister! I love you with all my heart and I feel your pain. I can relate with you. I love you Elizabeth. Call me!
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